05 April 2013

Lack of Children Stymies Speed Cameras

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel pushed through a safety zone speed camera law but aides forgot to clue him into the fact that school zone reduced speeds are only in force if the little kids are present.  So not only does the photo radar camera gear have to snap a picture of the car registration plate and display the car's speed but also look around for any tykes in the area on foot. 
This goof will likely reduce the number of prime photo-ticketing sites by sixty percent.  Nothing perks up a politician like a good challenge, and a loss of expected revenue, so Mayor Emanuel called up all the photo radar vendors from all over the world (except the disgraced Redflex) and told them to put their best minds to work on this problem. 

But the answer could be closer to home.  The answer could be right in the diminuative titan's own backyard.

I'm thinking the wily Rahm could probably tip over two cows with the same push:  namely, youth unemployment and the paucity of kiddies in his snapshots. 

"How?  How is that possible!?  Tell us. Every second you delay Chicago is losing thousands of dollars!  Oh won't you....."

Calm down. He could hire unemployed drop-out teens--they're still kids, technically--and they aren't in the classroom. They're just hanging out on street corners causing mischief and there seem to be a lot of them in Chicago.  They could be paid minimum wage to do their dangling near school property, in shifts, and that way Hizzoner's photo shock troops are covered for all the lowered 20 MPH zone speeding tickets they want to print.

"You sir are a genius.  You should go back to Washington D.C. and join the Obama White House staff and figure out ways to suck more mon...I mean help with the nation's financial crisis, just like the Mayor used to.  

Flattering, but I don't think that's going to happen.
You can read the article here:  kiddie photographer

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