"Bang Goes The Flash, Bang Goes My Cash"

Here are the lyrics to that SPEED CAMERA song I showcased a couple of posts ago.  I couldn't find the words on line, so I made the herculean effort to transcribe them by ear.  There are a few gaps so if anyone out there can fill them in, or correct any mistakes, please feel welcome to comment.

SPEED CAMERA

by  Unlucky Fried Kitten

     I don't drive my mototcar for pleasure any more

     If I did I probably couldn't take no more

     I don't really want to drive my car anymore

Come and Get Me, Copper!

Did you know your mailcarrier is above the law?  "Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night (nor the Dark Knight),  nor sleet, nor Robo-Cop with a flash camera, nor traffic laws, stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."

Seems the USPS can dish it out,  but they can't take it; as it relates to red light and speed camera tickets.  Yep, they'll gladly drop the tickets in your mailbox, but when one comes to theirs it is RETURN TO SENDER. 

"Driving At The Speed Of Light"

I stumbled over this delightful song by Unlucky Fried Kitten.  I especially like the inciteful lyrics:

"Speed Camera, Another three points in the can
Speed Camera, Meanwhile someone mugs my Gran"

The police seem to have the wherewithal to pinch drivers, but not to cage muggers and protect the pensioners

This group must be from England--either that or the whole trip is viewed through a mirror.  I've never heard of them, but I like their attitude and the "driving" beat. 

Remedial Plates for Red Light Cameras That Can't Read

Florida's comely vehicle registration plate with the two-oranges design may be replaced in two years time.  State officials want more of that red light and toll booth camera revenue and so the pretty is being sacrificed to the practical. 

It seems the raised letters and numbers on the current plate are too confusing for WAll-E to recognize.  Flat black letters and less ornamentation are being comtemplated.

Police Ground Power Pole

Finally, a good use for Photo Radar.

For two years a forty year-old Polish man was siphoning electrical power from a speed camera near his house in Mragowo, a town north of Warsaw.  Piotr W. tapped into the ticket camera using an extension cord buried two feet underground in December of 2007.  Seems he was powering his neighbor, also. 

Cops tumbled to the theft when unusually high electricity bills were noticed.  An officer sent to investigate discovered the buried cable and followed it right to Piotr's home.

--Two years of high electricity bills!  My wife would have been all over that the first month-- 

Piotr and girlfriend have to pay a fine and re-imburse the city for $1,200 worth of juice.  They'll avoid jail time.  It is not mentioned what became of the neighbors.

Read the article at The Newspaper:  Polish Underground

Slamming Photo Radar Vans

One complaint from Photo Radar critics, like myself, is that unlike flesh-and-blood patrol officers, no speed van or red light camera ever stopped a drunk driver....until now.  

It was New Years Day in Tucson, Arizona and Matthew Jones veered his vehicle off North Campbell Avenue and into a parked radar van.  The ATS employee in the van was not injured and neither were Jones and his passenger. 

Jones is suspected of driving while intoxicated and doing criminal damage.

The radar van had an organ donor card, and all the valuable equipment was quickly pulled and transplanted to another body.  I've covered the essentials, but here is the link to the story, anyway.

You can read the article in the Arizona Daily Star, here: Snapper gets Plastered

Naked Cyclist Snapped in Poland

A Polish man raced his bicycle past a speed camera wearing nothing but sneakers on his feet and underwear...on his head, as a protest.  They clocked him going 33 MPH in a 25 MPH zone.  There are no registration plates on bikes, so the photo cops had their work cut out for them. 

Mariusz Sztuba claims he wasn't completely naked; that he was wearing a thong, but they still piled on a lewd conduct charge on top of the speeding.   The total was 1000 zloty or $315.   Sztuba says the presence of the ticketing camera speed trap is giving his village a bad reputation.

--And people riding around starkers doesn't? 

He did his minimalist pedaling in October in Bialy Bor and Judge Przykucki found him guilty.

I would have increased the fine, were I the judge, for his wearing a thong, and I think it only fair that a cyclist disclose, before selling his bike, if it has ever had a naked rider, and I'm thinking it is cold in northern Poland in October.

Read the whole article here:  Polish Popsicle

May the Swartz be With You: flipping off cops for fun and profit

Was John Swartz signalling distress or was he expressing contempt for a speed radar trap in the village of St. Johnsville, New York?  He admits to showing his middle finger to Officer Insogna and was arrested minutes later for disorderly conduct.  He was booked and released in short order.  Judy Swartz, the driver committed no traffic violation and was not cited.

All this happened in May of 2006, and the charges were eventually dropped due to lack of timely prosecution.  Swartz sued for false arrest and Officer Isogna eventually had to come up with some reasons for pulling the vehicle over and summoning three additional policemen to assist.